Fizzy Drinks are Evil...

How many young girls dreamt of becoming a stay at home mum as a child?? None, I can assure you, my dreams were full of 'I want to be the first...' and 'When I grow up...' I wanted to be the first woman on the moon, the first female F1 driver and when I grew up I wanted to have my own candy floss machine, so far none of the above has happened and I am more disappointed with the latter than the careers which see you wearing a giant babygrow and peeing in a tube by choice.

Having two children under school attending age takes the term 'Stay at home mum' to a completely new level. Mornings sat in front of the telly at breakfast debating with a toddler why Daddy pig cant fit in a tent with Mummy, Peppa and George are the opening credits to my day, followed by Playdoh, Finger painting and 'Fairies', repeat throughout the day with the occasional venture into the local town with the house packed into a holdall that resembles the size of a third child, and this is my working week.

As most of my close friends could tell you I am about as child friendly as razor wire, how I have been allowed to rear two babies is beyond me but then again it appears anyone can have kids nowadays and be voted Mum of the Year by Foxy Bingo players, I mean all us aspiring mothers look up to the likes of Katie Price (voted for in 2012) and Stacey Solomon (2011) for parenting tips and the latest fashions...

I recently found myself starting to watch The Wright Stuff, a topical issues show presented by a self obsessed male with a mullet and three Z list celebs who have obviously collectively only ever managed read a Sun newspaper from cover to cover. Their sole aim is to come up with a witty one liner that sets the world to rights, a kind of Loose Women meets Jeremy Kyle at a discotheque and nine months later this show is their illegitimate lovechild. Anyway, I had obviously had little in the way of actual adult contact that I  had begun to keep the shows number on speed dial in my mobile phone in the hope that one of the discussions they might have would enable me to voice my opinion and have a whole two minutes of adult conversation, albeit on LIVE TELEVISION! After a whole two minutes spent voicing my opinions on the idea that 'Fizzy Drinks are Evil' I had the sudden realisation that I really need to get out more often and am now scouring the job ads like a woman possessed.